I’ve been going through papers and stuff from my trip to Consonance and I came across this filk, which I had forgotten about. Early on at the convention, I mentioned that I was interested in barbecue, and after that, it became a popular topic of conversation.
So one evening, on a whim, I wrote this silly little number, for fun. I performed it at the convention, and it went down really well.
Words & Music by Chris Malme
I bought myself a smoker
For I love barbecue
The kind, you know
Cooked long and slow
With a hit of spice to make you blow
And set your tastebuds all aglow
As the very best foods do.
And though I’m just a novice
You know I’m gonna risk it
Gonna go for broke and make some smoke
To cook the perfect brisket
The first time that I lit her up
I very quickly found
From beneath the hood
Came a smell so good
That quickly filled the neighbourhood
And the people came as fast they could
From miles and miles around
To marvel at my smoker
And learn how to use this kit
To help me baste and have a taste
Of this, the perfect brisket
Now nearly every weekend
My neighbours come on down
I start the heat
They bring the meat
Together we make it good to eat
And make a feast that’s hard to beat
For everyone in town
So come on by and try some
With gravy and some biscuits
If you’re in the mood for homecooked food
It’s lovely grub with a coffee rub
And a sauce that’s hot and hits the spot
It’s quite the perfect brisket!
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